‘In space no one can hear you scream”
Alien 1979
“In the cinema, everyone can hear you groan with
disappointment”
Matt 2012
Hello again. If you read my very first post, many thank yous
to you! You will also know that this new post will be Prometheus themed. It
WILL contain spoilers so if you are English like me and have already seen it,
please read on. If however you are from another country that got the film just yesterday, skip to the end for non- spoiler summary and rating.
Okay....
.... still there?
... I’ll crack on
I thought I would start with the ‘obvious’ background story.
Alien was released in 1979 to much critical praise. It was noted for having such
a strong female lead in Sigourney Weaver, an awesomely scary alien designed by
HR Giger and for being a iconic sci fi horror film. In preparation of
watching Prometheus, my friend Dave suggested a small geek gathering to watch
the directors cut of Alien from his newly purchased blu ray boxset. I must say
that either the dvd or blu ray Alien Quadrilogy boxsets are excellent and have
loads of amazing extras and is
thoroughly recommended, no matter what ill feeling you may have to the later
films (the boringly name ‘3’ and not so boring ‘Resurrection).
One of the first topics of conversation that arose while
watching it was perhaps a stereotypical male one-
Sigourney Weaver- hot or not?
After much deliberation and agreeing she looked great in
Galaxy Quest; Darren, the biggest Alien geek among us simple said-
“I’m not sure, but I think she would make a good wife”
With that we simply nodded in approval.
So there you have it; Sigourney Weaver, 5ft 11, alien ass
kicking, ghost baiting, Oscar nominated actress. And a good wife.
“The crew were stunned into silence as the Xenomorph asked
Ripley to marry him”
On to Prometheus. A prequel/non prequel set in the same
Alien universe and as Ridley Scott put it “has strands of Alien DNA”. Even with
this in mind, there are lots of references and links to the original Alien, the
Space Jockey being the biggest. In a nutshell Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and her
boyfriend Holloway (Logan Marshall-Greene- he has an imdb profile pic where he
looks like Tom Hardys twin brother with a beard) take a team of
scientists funded by Peter Weyland to discover the origins of mankind.
You know it isn’t going to end well though. The tag line to
the film gives that away-
"The Search For Our Beginning Could Lead To Our
End."
Only perhaps it should have said-
“The Search For A Good Film, Could Lead To Your Disappointment.”
In this geeks opinion this was a typical case of the trailers and
viral marketing being so much better than the film. The first half of the film was
reasonably strong but then it all goes to pot in the latter.
The Good
Stunning scenery and great special affects
The Scottish and Icelandic locations were well filmed. Theuse of CGI incorporated with actual sets and props made things seem very realistic.
Mostly David, mostly
Michael Fassbender was easily the best character through out,
channelling Hal form Space Odyssey and elements of Peter O’Toole in Lawrence of
Arabia. He is a likeable if not slightly unnerving character at first, but
unfortunately his motivations get very muddled as the film goes on; which made me
like him less and less. The viral “Happy Birthday David” was particularly good
and I recommend checking it out if you haven’t seen already.
Chilling birth scene
It was very cringe worthy to watch producing feeling of discomfort. Do not view if you are expecting!
An almost classic horror scene if it wasn’t for the rest of the film.
The Bad
I’m lost!
When the team first visit the alien compound, potential bad
ass Fifield declares he has devices that can help map out where they are. They
even communicate and send the data back to the ship, which produces a 3D
computer map. It is probably the best mapping system in the world.
A bit later Fifield gets scared, wants to leave and ends
up getting ... lost! On the way out! Lost?! Really?
Nuff said.
Dispensable characters
There were 17 crew on board the Prometheus. Pretty much
other than the main cast I couldn’t remember any of there names, what they did or
how they died. They pretty much served as cannon fodder for alien related
deaths.
Vickers cant roll?
Vickers (Charlize Theron, severly underused), a character who we
were lead to believe as being mega fit after performing numerous press ups
moments after coming out of stasis, while everyone else was puking their guts
up. We were unfortunately wrong as she could not roll out of the way to avoid being squashed by the space jockeys
crashing ship. Shaw could, and she’s just given birth and has staples in
her stomach!
Space Jockey’s height
Is it me or do the Space Jockeys seem quite small in comparison
to the one in Alien? And why do they all look like actor Mark Strong with white
make up on? He wasn’t in this was he? I know he was previously cast in Robin
Hood another Ridley Scott film, but did he really like his face that much that
he thought he would include him in this film. IMDB does not say he this was the
case. If anyone knows anything on the contrary please let me know.
"You look taller on T.V!"
"So Ridley, how much do I get paid for the image rights?"
Scared? Me? Nah!
Other than a few creepy moments in the Space Jockey ship and
an unpleasant birth scene there was no atmosphere, or feeling of dread.
Anything that had potential to be scary was undone by confusing and unnessary
plot holes and actions by the crew.
The What?!
Never accept a drink from an android.
David has plans of infecting Holloway with the alien DNA
found in the vases in the Space Jockey ship.
He makes a drink for Holloway he dips his ‘infected’ finger in it as he
passes it to him. Not subtly, or behind his back, but right in front of him making
a noticeable 'splash' sound. I don’t know about you but if a bartender did that
to me I would ask for a new drink!
Help me!
Holloway gets infected and his transformation is looking
grim. Hang on though! We have a stasis pod on board the ship in which we can isolate him, stop the transformation and potentially save his life! Brilliant!
Instead, lets not do
that.
Let's kill him!
Thanks for nothing! Additionally; surely a more humane way to
put an end to him was to shoot him, not for Vickers (sadistic) to set him on fire so he can have a long painful death.
R.I.P. Tom Hardy, ummm...I mean Logan Marshall-Green!
No one congratulates the new
mother?
A particularly gristly and
unsettling scene had Shaw getting an emergency cesarian to get rid of the alien
inside her. Only no one questions it. No one asks about it! Are those staples in
your stomach? What happened there? Is there an alien lock aboard the survival
pod? Shocking!
Acid Zombie alien
Apparently if you get a face full
of acid (bye bye Fifield!) you turn into a mutated zombie, who can fold himself
up and is super strong, can climb walls and is pretty much impervious to bullets,
flames and getting run over. Yes that makes sense! Not Millburn (Rafe Spall) who
actually had an Alien tentacle squid thing orally invade his body. Hmmm...
Alien evolution
At the end we get a glimpse of the
Xenomorph that burst out of the Space Jockey, which looks like a poor mans, prototype
version of the classic Giger Xenomorph form the other Alien films.
Let me get this straight-
1. First
Holloway gets infected with the alien worm in his drink
2. He
infects Shaw via his man worm (sorry!)
3. Sterile
Shaw has a rapid pregnancy and gives birth to a baby white squid
4. Baby
squid gets huge very quickly and face (and body hugs..aww!) the Space jockey
5. Alien
burst out of Space Jockeys body with an uncanny resemblance to the Alien we all
know and love
Okay then. Are we meant to believe
this is how the Alien comes into existence? This is another example of more
questions than answers. Which brings me
on to my final point...
Missed opportunity?
At the end the Alien burst out of
the Space jockey. Surely it would have made much more sense for the Space
Jockey to take off on another one of ships, start suffering a severe case of
Alien indigestion and the crash land on LV 426 and so produces the iconic image
from the first Alien film. That would have been a nice link and brings it full
circle. Oh well...
In summary, as a stand alone sci fi horror not part of the Alien
universe it could have been an good film. If it was more cohesive with its Alien
referencing it might have been an excellent film. Unfortunately, due to
many plots holes, lazy character development and literally nobody giving a damn
about each other, it is just...okay. It even goes some way to undermine the original
brilliance of Alien. Throwing in the references to Alien universe seemed rushed, not well thought out and dare I say it, included to keep the fanboys happy and make money. I’m a fanboy. I’m disappointed.
At least these guys were happy with the finished result...
Rant over!
Rating: 2.5/5
Geek out,
Matt
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